Seeing Gains, Activist Continues To Work For Others (New Haven Register)
Sunday, December 28, 2008
By: Bridget Albert

When Anne Stanback began her work on behalf of gays and lesbians, her activism was barely a blip on the screen. More than 20 years later, Stanback, and her organization, Love Makes A Family, have made inroads many never thought they would see in their lifetime.

Stanback is credited with being a moving force in gaining rights for lesbians and gays.

“She has devoted herself to this for so long,” said John Anderson, a plaintiff in the case that ended with the high court’s ruling. “She has been there through the whole battle in a non strident very effective way.”

Looking back

Stanback said she knew early on she wanted to focus her life work in a social justice cause.

“When I decided to attend Yale Divinity (School) it wasn’t to be ordained. I felt a divinity degree would be helpful (in her lifework),” Stanback said.

It was at Yale, Stanback said, that she came out as a lesbian. “It was a very supportive community,” she said.

While at Yale Stanback also met her love: Charlotte Kinlock.

“Charlotte was involved in lesbian activism. That is when I became involved with the Connecticut Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights,” Stanback said. She founded the New Haven chapter. From there she quickly became a co-director for the statewide organization. Stanback also has been a lobbyist, been the executive director for NARAL Pro Choice Connecticut and Connecticut Women’s Education and Legal Fund and run a statewide campaign.

In 2000 Kinlock and friend Maureen Murphy convinced Stanback to start LMF. “It was the same year we passed the co-parent adoption bill,” Stanback said of the year it became legal for same-sex couples to adopt children in Connecticut.

The Lawsuit

Then, in 2004, eight couples sued the state after being denied marriage licenses in Madison.

“With the success of Massachusetts we suspected Connecticut might be the next state (to allow gay marriage),” Stanback said. “So we weren’t surprised when we received a call from Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders to file a lawsuit.”

Lee Swislow, executive director of GLAD, said LMF’s assistance with the lawsuit was a natural pairing.

“Anne Stanback is simply the best — smart, thoughtful, committed and unrelentingly focused on equality. All of us at GLAD cherish our relationship with her and cannot imagine a better partner,” Swislow said.

The American Civil Liberties Union was also involved in the suit, as were Connecticut attorneys Maureen Murphy, Ken Bartschi and Karen Dowd.

Stanback said LMF was the public education and grassroots organizing component.

“We kept up pressure in the legislature,” Stanback said. In 2005, the General Assembly passed legislation that allowed same-sex civil union in Connecticut.

But the 85-page state Supreme Court decision penned by Justice Richard N. Palmer said the state legislature singled out gay men and lesbians for differential treatment by creating a separate legal classification for gays seeking to have relationships recognized under law.

“Ultimately the message is that what same-sex couples have is not as important or as significant as ‘real marriage,” the decision says.

“We conclude that, in light of the history of pernicious discrimination faced by gay men and lesbians, and because the institution of marriage carries with it a status and significance that the newly created classification of civil unions does not embody, the segregation of heterosexual and homosexual couples into separate institutions constitutes a cognizable harm,” Palmer wrote.

Dissenting Justice Peter T. Zarella said the decision is based on unsupported assumptions that the essence of marriage is a loving, committed relationship between two adults. Zarella goes on to say that the “Ancient definition of marriage as the union of one man and one woman has its basis in biology, not bigotry...If the state no longer has an interest in the regulation of procreation then that is a decision for the legislature or the people of the state not this court.”

Plaintiffs Garrett Stack and Anderson of Woodbridge, both educators who retired from the Stratford School System, said they participated in the lawsuit they said they felt they were a normal couple.

“We thought our long term relationship offered us as a visible couple just like everyone else wanting exactly the same rights as everyone else gets,” Anderson said. “Marriage is an admission from the state that we are just as valuable as our neighbors are.”

Stanback said she has seen little backlash from the ruling to date.

But LMF still has vehement critics in those who oppose gay marriage.

Peter Wolfgang, executive director of The Family Institute of Connecticut, has fought LMF for years.

“Love Makes A Family actually failed in its mission. It’s mission was to make Connecticut the first state to pass same-sex marriage democratically instead of by court order. The Family Institute of Connecticut defeated them every year at the legislature even the one year they did achieve a victory with the civil union law in 2005 it could only pass with an amendment explicitly defining marriage as between a man and a woman,” Wolfgang said.

“Ultimately it took four judges to undemocratically impose same-sex marriage in Connecticut,” Wolfgang said.

Looking forward

Stanback believes her organization still has a lot of work to do.

“My hope is LMF will expand our mission to become a multi-tiered lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender grassroots organization,” she said.

Stanback is focused on the upcoming General Assembly session and working for transgender equality through her organization.

Stanback said she could see LMF directing energy toward issues such as healthcare, senior issues and increasing funding for LGBT services and working on myriad federal issues that affect the LGBT community, such repealing the Don’t Ask Don’t tell bill and passing a federal hate crime law.

“LMF is one of the premiere grassroots organization in the country, perhaps the world,” Murphy said.

“They have gone from an organization with no funds to nearly half a million dollars today. They are a model around the world and country not just for LGBT communities but because they have become incredibly effective,” Murphy said.